The unimaginable is a life without her smile in it. The heartbreaking is a life without her lips on mine. Life is unworthy without her in my arms.
Sometimes, people make easy choices. Choices based on certain criteria that they simply find closer to what they want than what they need. ‘Choice of convenience’ over ‘choice of right’ or choosing the right one. Sometimes, certain people know us better than others. And, the most foolish thing of all is when we choose something or someone else instead of them. In the end, we are all fools, fools in love, fools in choices, fools in whatever we choose to do. Sometimes, some people just need to go through all of it just to see whats right. What was right in front of them, telling them over and over again that they were always there for them. For momentary things, we shove off what was right and lasting for us. But funnier still, is that the ones whom they moved aside for someone else will still be waiting for them, still be there to catch them when they fall, still will be smiling at them with all the love in the world.
I don’t do this just to tell you all the good things. I do this to let you know of the good and the bad. I do this cos I know now more than ever, that the love we have, the love we hold, even though it might be stepped upon more than once or twice or even a 100 times, it will always survive. Cos love is everlasting. True love is. And when hope is as strong as even its littlest of forms, its still stronger than the strongest of falls. I pray that each and every one of you find the right one in your life. That you find the one that will hold you up for everything that you truly are and everything that you truly deserve. Cos, I know, that in life, I would never compromise for anything less. And nor will I give anything less than that for the one I love. Just don’t turn away from someone just cos they don’t fill your criteria for the right person. Cos, like I always say, sometimes the ones you need aren’t the ones you want. And people, please, I beg you, don’t think love is the same as lust or sex or something like that. I have heard people saying, ‘oh we make love’ and all that. But, love comes first, everything else comes second. If you put everything else first and love on second place. Then trust me, you will know soon enough what it is. Just pleasure? momentary. Exhilarating? yes, but momentary. And lastly, I pray that none of you, will ever have to go through the pain I went through in life for love. I pray that each and every one of you will find what is right. I pray that we become the part of a generation that did find love when everyone else said we are a generation that has lost the meaning of love. I pray and hope, that every single day, like I dream, your reality will be one where you wake up with the one you love. The one that is your other half.
When someone breaks your heart, it doesn’t matter how or why it happened. It doesn’t matter to us the reason why they did it. All we can see is that, we loved them with everything we had, we loved them with all our heart and soul. But it wasn’t enough for them. And then, that moment we say to ourselves, “why do I feel like dying?” And they say, “I guess you didn’t love me as much as I thought you did.” Its not injustice that happens there. Its something so soul shattering, that you can’t help but wonder how they were so blind enough that they never saw how much more we would have loved them, how much more we would have given for them. But, like I always say to things like this, “To the fool, Gold looks like shit and shit looks like Gold.”
Be brave, be strong, and don’t let your heart become like stone just cos someone tried to bring you down. Be it they did it intentionally or not, your heart is just as much worth the love out there that each and every single one of us receive in our little but beautiful life. So, never let anything bring you down. It will be hard, cos no one ever said life will be easy. But to go through it all with a smile on your face and your heart on your sleeve. That, my friends, takes courage and strength. That my friend, is the image of true love. That is what you should be. Never let the world bring you down.
Breaking up is hard, whether it is mutual or one party does the dirty work. Any serious relationship that ends will leave one or both people heartbroken. Breakups can sometimes be fast, slow, civil, or just plain normal. But that is not to say that it is painless. Fortunately, heartache is bearable if you can man up. Almost all of this advice is a composite of good advice from friends and first-hand experience.
Leading Up to Breaking Up
There is always a period of time leading up to the break-up where at least one self-aware person in the relationship will notice that there is trouble in paradise. Whether it’s a short relationship or one spanning many years, there’s always a road to break-up. It can take a matter of hours or it can take months. If you’ve ever heard the term “the suspense is killing me,” then you’ll understand that this is the hardest part of any break-up. Here are some tips on handling this phase:
The Actual Break-up
This is where things get ugly. This is also when you want to ask questions. You want to ask them now, because you’ll want time away from them after the break-up. You’ll also want to find out exactly what it is they are thinking in case it really is something you can fix. Ask questions like:
The key to the break-up is dignity. Being a pathetic, sobbing wretch is not going to win her back. Neither is being a furious, profanity-spewing juggernaut. Hold your head up, have respect for her and have respect for yourself. Be reasonable when you try to find out what you can do to save the relationship; you shouldn’t give in to demands or options that you don’t want to live with. There have been several times I’ve offered to save the relationship by promising something I really wasn’t comfortable with, but it doesn’t fix the relationship; it simply shifts the awkwardness around. You might still be with her at the end of it, but at what cost? Do both of you a favor: remember your dignity.
Aftermath
People will try to give you formula like ‘a week for every month’, but the truth is that you’ll be better when you are better. This is when you might cry your eyes out or hit the gym or find a friend with a punching bag in his garage. Remember that it’s over. Here are a few things to keep in mind in the meantime.
Your life will go on. Things will get better. It will take a long time, in all likelihood, and it will take some work. Above everything else, remember your respect for the other person and your respect for yourself. Keep your head up high and roll with the punches.
